My mother always warned me about strangers and bad guys when I was younger but she never warned me about the boy who would break my heart in a split second. She didn’t tell me a broken heart would wound my soul forever. She never mentioned to me how bad it would hurt when someone you loved left you with no other words than “goodbye”. She told me no one would ever hurt me but you did. I wish she would’ve warned me, I wish someone would’ve kept my fragile heart away from you. In a way, you are a bad guy. You robbed me of everything I have.
It’s 2:09 am and I’m still awake. I can’t sleep and I can’t stop crying. None-stop for the last couple of days. When I’m alone, going to the bathroom for two minutes, in the shower, watching something that isn’t necessarily sad, just looking at my cat. I feel like I’m getting bad again. I’m staring at the moon right now and it’s beautiful. I wish I was as beautiful as the moon. I wonder if there’s anyone looking at her right now like I am. I wonder why no one ever finds time to talk to me or even care. I wonder why people, dead or alive, keep leaving me all the time. I wonder why I hurt so much. I wonder why I’m not good enough. I wonder why my parents find any reason to bring me down. I wonder why no one notices how much I’m hurting. I wonder why I’m feeling so lonely right now. I wonder why I am not a lovable person. I wonder why I can’t be happy. I wonder a lot and I think a lot. And that might be the reason I’m so sad all the time. I feel so alone and lonely and its so late. And I wish anyone just anyone for once would be there and make it all alright, just for once. I feel dead inside. I think its sad and pathetic. I’m sad and pathetic. And I hate myself.